Come Further Up. Come Further In.

(Unfortunately, I don't have a picture of a hotel pool, so just pretend that this is one.)

It was about a ten years ago when a typical hotel pool seemed enormous to me. I was playing in the water with some new friends.We were ducking under the surface to retrieve the weighted toys (colored and easy to spot above water) that had sunk to the bottom. I shut my eyes and pinched my nose to keep the water out each time I went under. So, I searched blind and with one hand. Not the best system. Still, I found the challenge fun and would doggedly pursue any available target, although I was met with limited success. I was honestly much worse at the sport than anyone else. My swimming abilities were quite limited...

I couldn't swim. I transversed the pool by dragging myself along the side.

My mistake was in taking it to far.

I went to the deep end. Eyes squeezed shut, I pushed down under the chlorinated liquid by the number that marked in feet the water's depth...or height, and it was far higher than I was tall. But I didn't look at the warning. I tried to push myself down even further. I still couldn't reach my goal, the weight at the bottom. The pool floor was too far below me, so I would never be able to locate it by touch when I couldn't even reach it! I let go of the side, and the hand that had gripped it disappeared under the water. 

Submerged and lost in darkness, I had lost all physical contact with anything but the sense of the water surrounding me. It took only a few moments for me to realize that I'd had enough of the feeling. The water was too deep. My own lungs, the only oxygen tank I had, sounded a deafening alarm in my head. My brain sent the warning signal to every nerve in my body. Low air. The determination to reach the bottom instantly reversed into a desperate need to resurface and breathe. 


I had to get up and out. The only trouble was that I had somehow brilliantly lost where up was. I was flailing underwater for something to catch hold of, a point of reference, a means of deliverance, something to pull myself up by. But my blind bumps in the dark against hard surfaces did nothing to give me direction. They only served to further confuse me. The edge of the pool which I had sunk below was too far away from me now. I was impossibly stuck. I couldn't see, and I couldn't open my eyes. As young as I was I knew. I remember thinking it. I can't get back up. Help, please help me! I'M DROWNING!


I honestly don't know how long it lasted. It doesn't take long to panic. And when your panicing it's like time stops in an eternity of knowing that there's no time left.

I don't need to tell you how I felt when someone grabbed me and pulled me up and into the light. 

Of course, the first thing I did was breathe.
Gasp.
Choke for air.
I could barely thank the older girl who had saved me. She was just another kid like me except she had been safe and I  had been in danger. She had seen that I was in trouble and she acted. She showed me the right way to go.

I can't remember what happened afterward. I remember three things in this order: my mistake, my terror, and my extreme relief. 

Foolish. Desiring. Distracted. 

Lost. Doomed. Blind.

Found. Saved. Seeing.

In the final book of the Chronicles of Narnia, the survivors of the Last Battle find themselves in Aslan's country. The mysterious yet thrilling cry "Further up and further in!" is repeated throughout the company. They all run as if flying, and when they finally reach the tumultuous water at the end, they plunge forward with a power not their own, shoot straight up the gigantic waterfall and find themselves at last at the golden gateway. (Here's a song based on that story. )