24 Reasons Why I'm Actually a Cat

(Some reasons are better than others.)

1.  I prefer to work independently.
2. I literally jump at sudden noises (the more aware I am that they could happen the jumpier I get).
3. I spontaneously dash through the house, occasionally coming close to bowling somebody over (sorry, guys).
4.   I am honest about how I feel about what you're doing. And expressive.
5. I wish I had a high-up place where no one else could go where I could withdraw and people-watch (a treehouse in the living room would be nice).
6. I L-O-V-E the idea of cat naps, though I'm still trying to figure them out.
7. I love warmth.
8. I'm an impeccable groomer (I brush my hair about 10 times a day just because it feels mussed up)
9. Cats recognize me as an equal, which they couldn't do if I was human.
10. "I am the cat who walks by himherself." I like time alone.
11. I need to take social cat naps because being out and about drains me.
12. I scratch my ear with my foot.
13. Just kidding! :)
14. I'm always right (not really, of course). I don't always have an opinion, but, when I do, you know about it.
15. I'm picky about food...sort of. Okay, so I basically just hate peppers. 
16. I have to do it myself: you can't ever help me. Unless you're making me food...in that case, go for it. I'll be reading a book.
17. I love water.
18. Wait a minute...
19. I'm hard to impress. Try to impress a cat. It's hard. I mean, think about it: remaining calm is an excellent way to conserve energy. Unless you give me something I absolutely L-O-V-E, I won't be turning cartwheels. 
20. I can't turn cartwheels.
21. I go easy during the day so that I end up staying awake for hours at night, and for absolutely no reason, which is what makes this so cat-like.
22. I fake sleep, and I'm sure that cats do too just so you don't bother them. But I don't act like I'm sleeping when I'm not trying to actually go to sleep.
23. I collect weird things, and they become my toys.
24. I meow, hiss, and caterwaul fluently--you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between me and the real thing! True story, everyone. I've literally had years of practice at it. It’s kind of embarrassing.

And I know that "everybody wants to be a cat," but, unfortunately, we can't all be!

1. Are you more like your cat or your dog? Why?

Poems by E

--The following poems were penned by my sister, Emily. Her writing style is a good deal different from mine, as you will see, and her humor much more......refined. (The only fee she had to pay to publish on my blog was incessant and voluntary jumping jacks :)--

Killing Time

-by Emmy

 I watched a second crawl by...I squished one.  

Why?

  How should I know?  

I squished a second...

..so?

         Moon Mission     

     -by Emmy    

                    

I'm going to the moon, and I'm never coming back,

I've put all my belongings in a tiny little sack.

I've got all the equipment with my fishbowl on my head,

and I've even made the rocket which I've stored under my bed.

--And finally, we will end this program with--

Emily's Quote For The Day: 

"Oh no! I was just innocently sitting here when suddenly my Root Beer drained away!..I think I should have a refill."

This has been, "A Moment With Emily".

--Thank you all so much for tuning in--

From the Viewpoint of a Little Boy

                       

   

Everyone’s a Robot

Everyone's a robot-everyone but me.

My mother lives on gasoline-though, she says it's only tea.

My father likes to shine his face, he makes it really gleam.

He uses a special type of polish-he calls it shaving cream.

My grandma moves quite creakily (I think she needs an oiling)

But she cares a whole lot more that our milk is always spoiling.

My mother's been programmed to clean: sweeping, dusting and more.

And she loves it (though, I've no clue why) when she can see my bedroom floor.

Now I think I've made my point, and I'm sure that you now see:

That everyone's a robot-except for you and me!