24 Reasons Why I'm Actually a Cat

(Some reasons are better than others.)

1.  I prefer to work independently.
2. I literally jump at sudden noises (the more aware I am that they could happen the jumpier I get).
3. I spontaneously dash through the house, occasionally coming close to bowling somebody over (sorry, guys).
4.   I am honest about how I feel about what you're doing. And expressive.
5. I wish I had a high-up place where no one else could go where I could withdraw and people-watch (a treehouse in the living room would be nice).
6. I L-O-V-E the idea of cat naps, though I'm still trying to figure them out.
7. I love warmth.
8. I'm an impeccable groomer (I brush my hair about 10 times a day just because it feels mussed up)
9. Cats recognize me as an equal, which they couldn't do if I was human.
10. "I am the cat who walks by himherself." I like time alone.
11. I need to take social cat naps because being out and about drains me.
12. I scratch my ear with my foot.
13. Just kidding! :)
14. I'm always right (not really, of course). I don't always have an opinion, but, when I do, you know about it.
15. I'm picky about food...sort of. Okay, so I basically just hate peppers. 
16. I have to do it myself: you can't ever help me. Unless you're making me food...in that case, go for it. I'll be reading a book.
17. I love water.
18. Wait a minute...
19. I'm hard to impress. Try to impress a cat. It's hard. I mean, think about it: remaining calm is an excellent way to conserve energy. Unless you give me something I absolutely L-O-V-E, I won't be turning cartwheels. 
20. I can't turn cartwheels.
21. I go easy during the day so that I end up staying awake for hours at night, and for absolutely no reason, which is what makes this so cat-like.
22. I fake sleep, and I'm sure that cats do too just so you don't bother them. But I don't act like I'm sleeping when I'm not trying to actually go to sleep.
23. I collect weird things, and they become my toys.
24. I meow, hiss, and caterwaul fluently--you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between me and the real thing! True story, everyone. I've literally had years of practice at it. It’s kind of embarrassing.

And I know that "everybody wants to be a cat," but, unfortunately, we can't all be!

1. Are you more like your cat or your dog? Why?