~the beauty of expression is an accurate reflection~a good story: something of a confession~joy through pain is an untradable lesson~selfless love: a simple taste of heaven~

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Apple Panakuchen

My favorite childhood food! You have to try this:
Apple Panakuchen
Blend together:
4 eggs
1 1/2 c. flour
1 1/2 c. milk
1 1/2 t. salt
Melt 1/4 c. butter and use to grease 13" by 8" pan (just drizzle it in as evenly as you can). Pour in batter. It's OK if the batter displaces the melted butter, that happens all the time! It will turn out fine.😊 The butter is what makes the bottom and sides of the Panakuchen firm.




Top with approximately 4 good-sized chopped apples. I like to pack the apples in really well. Mom likes to have fewer apples. It doesn't really matter how many you choose to put in as long as they're evenly spread out!



Sprinkle 1/2 c. sugar over apples, then finish with the cinnamon. There is no right measurement for the cinnamon; it should be liberally spread, but not caked on (that would be gross).



Bake at 400 degrees for 30 minutes. The Panakuchen should swell up a bit over the edge of the pan when it's ready to come out. It's okay if the finished product looks lopsided because it will settle after it's out of the oven. Allow it to cool before cutting. Enjoy!


Fun fact: "Panakuchen" is the Dutch word for "pancake" (it is also called "pannenkoek").

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Thanks, Discouragement, for Asking!















I imagined one day I met two of Me,
and I pictured them sitting side by side.
The Me on the right was writing frantically.
the Me on the left dared ask why she tried.

While the Right Me wrote, the Left Me sat still
as if she was working for an opposite will.
She sat idly, her hands folded in her lap,
her eyes closed, creativity taking a nap.

Left Me asked Right Me, "Aren't you discouraged?"
The poet continued to write.
"Not being like you is reason to be encouraged."
But her grasp on her pencil grew tight.

"I guess you're not like me, 'cause I would give up now,"
said the slacker, trying once more:
"You don't like what you've written, you think it is worthless,
and your penmanship's almost as poor!"

"If I don't keep trying, I'll never get better;
now please let me finish this verse!"
Left scoffed, "Please, the meter's barely holding together:
if anything, this piece just gets worse!"

Left continued: "Forgive me, I don't understand--
you scribble and scrawl until pain cramps your hand.
I really don't know how this comes over you.
Writing poetry's silly, so why do what you do?"

Right Me slammed down her pencil,
looked Left straight in the eye.
"Okay, so you asked for it--
I'll tell you why!'

"It's structured and satisfying,
easy to write;
When things do fall into place
the poem glows in the light!"

"Furthermore, poetry, by nature, must be concise.
No long-winded sentences! (My incorrigible vice:
when I read over them later, I think I might as well keep
my thoughts to myself since my reader's asleep!)

"The balance and rules
give the words symmetry;
When I find rhymes and count syllables
 It's like composing a symphony."

Then, Right Me looked at her pencil
as if she'd come home.
She turned the page,
knuckled down,
and
she
wrote
you
this
poem.



Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Come Further Up. Come Further In.

(Unfortunately, I don't have a picture of a hotel pool, so just pretend that this is one.)

It was about a ten years ago when a typical hotel pool seemed enormous to me. I was playing in the water with some new friends.We were ducking under the surface to retrieve the weighted toys (colored and easy to spot above water) that had sunk to the bottom. I shut my eyes and pinched my nose to keep the water out each time I went under. So, I searched blind and with one hand. Not the best system. Still, I found the challenge fun and would doggedly pursue any available target, although I was met with limited success. I was honestly much worse at the sport than anyone else. My swimming abilities were quite limited...


I couldn't swim. I transversed the pool by dragging myself along the side.


My mistake was in taking it to far.

I went to the deep end. Eyes squeezed shut, I pushed down under the chlorinated liquid by the number that marked in feet the water's depth...or height, and it was far higher than I was tall. But I didn't look at the warning. I tried to push myself down even further. I still couldn't reach my goal, the weight at the bottom. The pool floor was too far below me, so I would never be able to locate it by touch when I couldn't even reach it! I let go of the side, and the hand that had gripped it disappeared under the water. 


Submerged and lost in darkness, I had lost all physical contact with anything but the sense of the water surrounding me. It took only a few moments for me to realize that I'd had enough of the feeling. The water was too deep. My own lungs, the only oxygen tank I had, sounded a deafening alarm in my head. My brain sent the warning signal to every nerve in my body. Low air. The determination to reach the bottom instantly reversed into a desperate need to resurface and breathe. 



I had to get up and out. The only trouble was that I had somehow brilliantly lost where up was. I was flailing underwater for something to catch hold of, a point of reference, a means of deliverance, something to pull myself up by. But my blind bumps in the dark against hard surfaces did nothing to give me direction. They only served to further confuse me. The edge of the pool which I had sunk below was too far away from me now. I was impossibly stuck. I couldn't see, and I couldn't open my eyes. As young as I was I knew. I remember thinking it. I can't get back up. Help, please help me! I'M DROWNING!


I honestly don't know how long it lasted. It doesn't take long to panic. And when your panicing it's like time stops in an eternity of knowing that there's no time left.


I don't need to tell you how I felt when someone grabbed me and pulled me up and into the light. 


Of course, the first thing I did was breathe.

Gasp.
Choke for air.
I could barely thank the older girl who had saved me. She was just another kid like me except she had been safe and I  had been in danger. She had seen that I was in trouble and she acted. She showed me the right way to go.

I can't remember what happened afterward. I remember three things in this order: my mistake, my terror, and my extreme relief. 


Foolish. Desiring. Distracted. 
Lost. Doomed. Blind.
Found. Saved. Seeing.

In the final book of the Chronicles of Narnia, the survivors of the Last Battle find themselves in Aslan's country. The mysterious yet thrilling cry "Further up and further in!" is repeated throughout the company. They all run as if flying, and when they finally reach the tumultuous water at the end, they plunge forward with a power not their own, shoot straight up the gigantic waterfall and find themselves at last at the golden gateway. (Here's a song based on that story. )










Sunday, April 16, 2017

God and Man: The Story

 MAN
                                         
 Breakers of rules
Scoffing the wise
Ungrateful fools
Makers of lies
Angry
Deceptive
And
Willfully blind
Helplessly
Hopelessly
Lost
Mankind

     
GOD
                         
The Infinite Being
Who numbered our days
Glorious Father
Most worthy of praise 

He knows every thought
That’s entered your mind
He’s unendingly wise
And
 Immeasurably kind 

The Lord of the Earth
Of whom Angels sing
Everlasting Word
And
Heavenly King

He gave speed to the fleet deer
Brute strength to the ox
Flight to the eagle
And
Cunning to the fox 

Blessed Creator 
Unblemished Lamb
Most Powerful
All-knowing 
The Holy
I AM


The Story

  The gulf between God and man 
was immeasurably wide;
It had been deepened by hate 
and lengthened by pride.
   That dark abyss- which men themselves had dug- forever denied   
their privilege to walk with God
and be at His side.
They could never bridge the gap
 no matter how hard they tried.

So man, whose life 
is like but a breath
and who’s sea of transgression 
had him inevitably doomed 
was justly condemned 
to an eternal death
and be by hell fire 
forever consumed. 

But God, whose eternal goodness 
is unendingly wide,
and whose forgiveness is far stronger 
than all of man’s pride,
loved the world so greatly 
that He gave up His only Son
to live perfectly the life of man 
and then to be the One
to pay the thing which men could not: 
their own sin’s costly price.
He gave up His life upon a cross 
as the ultimate sacrifice 

   The temple curtain was torn in two, 
and the day became like night.
The sun was lost in darkness, 
and nowhere was there light.
The earth was shaken violently, 
and mighty boulders broke.
Nearby the graves were opened,
and the dead within awoke.

In the cool of a sealed and guarded tomb 
His lifeless body lay.
All hope seemed lost, His friends despaired, 
then dawned that third and glorious day 
when Christ arose-no longer dead-
with majesty unveiled...
Death is dead and sin is crushed--
He fought both and prevailed!

He then ascended into heaven 
and sat down at God’s right hand.
 So all who live for worldly pleasures
 have built their lives on shifting sand.
For their pursuits are for a moment,
 and with their riches they will fade.
But all who follow Christ will live, 
for, with His love, they are remade.



Thursday, April 13, 2017

A Greater Cause


Every Little Thing

Every little thing I do
Is the serving of a greater cause
Whether it’s the fueling of a fruitless feud
Or furthering the work of God.
Now isn’t it odd
That it’s the big things we focus on
When we know the larger matters are founded
On the smaller stuff they’re built upon.

Do you really know where you need to go?
Do you see the smaller things in working harmony?
Do you perceive all of the parts that fit just right
and move together to form your life?
And just how much were you shown of
the greater plan you did not write? 

What is this that you would change?

And, by contrast, look at things that have passed:
See how the greater things become small
Compared to him who is Lord over them all,
Who knows the future as well as the past,
And all of the things that will truly last. 

With whom and what do you exchange?

It hurts to stretch, stretch, stretch
My soul
In places I don’t want to admit exist.
 I don’t want to acknowledge
The hole
That is still there
When I’m making money hand over fist,
or when I’m on top of the world
thinking I'm the one in control.
In essence,
when I have my way
I plan the day
and throw it away,
and then
I get up
and do it again
without thinking about my story’s end.
But it isn’t as far off as it would seem,
and I don’t have as much power as I would deem.
It's all pretend.

Every little thing I do
is the serving of a greater cause
whether it’s the fueling of a fruitless feud
or furthering the work of God.

Get a handle on your dreams,
make your priorities the ones that last.
no matter how busy life seems,
don’t forget the bigger picture
because you’re kind of in it.
You’ve been appointed an eternal life:
wake up, shake off the dust,
begin it.







Friday, February 24, 2017

Our State is Freezing


Okay so technically I wrote this in the Fall, but I actually did ride my bike this week (which was crazy). Last line added today.


                                 

Freezing air sucked into searing lungs, blocked by the burning ball of ice just inside my closing throat....I can't get enough. The pain to breath is frightful.

Straining forward into the cold wind, knees rising, feet forcing down, blood and muscles pumping. Everything burning, burning, burning in the powerful gusts, the forceful frost invisible. Pushing homeward, struggling homeward.....leaden weight pulling down through the earth instead of straight ahead. Inching impossibly, battered body, moaning mind.

Minnesota bike ride.

Whhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Wednesday, February 15, 2017

At the Sight of Sound: A World of Silent Words

     After several minutes of talking and laughing, Sue Thomas dumbfounds her new friend with two small words: “I’m deaf.” At first, he thinks she’s joking. Then, incredulously, he asks her how she knows what he’s saying. “I read lips,” she replies simply. “I sign, too, if you’re interested.” This conversation might sound farfetched, but reality has a way of being much more surprising than it’s often credited for. In the early 2000s, a TV show was created based on the true story of a woman with the gumption to join law enforcement despite her deafness. Her amazing ability to read lips was an indispensable tool for surveillance. She has been called “the FBI’s secret weapon.” The television series, Sue Thomas: F.B.EYE, is more than worth watching for its well-crafted storyline, family-friendliness, strong values, and overall appeal and purpose.
     First of all, the show’s storyline is very well-crafted. The situations that Sue and her team at the FBI face on a day to day basis are varied; they aren’t constantly working on armed robberies but deal with all sorts of crimes, as well as the both likely and unlikely crooks from every walk of life who commit them. Often, they must simultaneously balance work from multiple cases and juggle priorities when faced with the choice of either solving an art fraud or intercepting a terrorist attack.
     Some people may have minimal interest in a law enforcement show with agents in action, serious debriefings peppered with acronyms, and case conundrums. They assume that they will either be bored or just lost and, therefore, are disinclined to watch the show. However, the plotline is designed to be followed easily enough. Also, since Sue is a new recruit and has to learn the ropes of law enforcement, she has about as much to learn as everyone watching the show. These times when Sue needs something explained to her are both needed in the show (and are fairly frequent at the beginning) and are used to the viewer's advantage as they learn with her.
     Furthermore, even if the audience has less interest in some of the FBI cases, there’s always much more to each episode than FBI work. The characters are diverse, complex, and lovable, interacting with each other believably. This provides much depth of character development for the television series. For every case Sue’s team is handed there is generally an amusing subplot capturing anecdotes from the everyday life of one agent or another to go with it. Every episode has delightful debate and dialogue as well as the occasional practical joke. Sue encounters this old tradition of office pranks on her first day when she discovers that every article on her desk from her phone to her pen is glued down. The show is appealing both for its plot and for the people who are a part of it.
     The incorporation of ASL (American Sign Language) is also an enjoyable bonus to the show. All who seek to learn ASL quickly discover that it cannot be mastered overnight. Sue’s friends pick up some basic knowledge of ASL from her, and they laugh at each other’s mistakes as they learn. This addition to the show is not at all boring: it sparks interest in the language and shows off some of its beauty and complexity.
     A disinterested person may point out that whole conversations that take place in absolute silence and can only be understood with the provided subtitles are tedious. However, the discourse is rarely uninteresting, and the few scenes which must be read rather than heard are too short to cause most viewers impatience. Moreover, most signing is translated aloud by Sue for the benefit of other people in the conversation who are less fluent in ASL or else don’t know it at all. Consequentially, the subtitles are few and far between.  ASL is an inseparable part of Sue Thomas’ life, and she is equally involved in both the deaf and hearing worlds as she makes life-long friends in each of them.
     Secondly, though the film industry markets a variety of different kinds of entertainment, it is rare to find a show with a compelling plotline that is free of content giving it a rating which suggests that it is not viewing material for what has been termed the “general audience.” However, unlike many TV shows out there of any genre, this show does not include strong language or inappropriate scenes. What it does have are strong morals and uplifting content, making it a very family-friendly show. Sue’s character is mainly to be thanked for contributing this to the show. One notable example of this is her dealings with the most difficult agent in her work unit, Miles Leland. He is openly hostile toward Sue at the beginning of the season due to a deep grudge he holds against her, and he does everything he can to make it difficult for the rookie to get settled in the new and challenging FBI work setting. When Sue becomes aware that their supervisor wants to transfer Miles for his efforts to discredit her, she vouches for Miles instead of against him.
     The most striking thing about this instance is that after Sue reassures the supervisor and saves Miles’ job she doesn’t see any need to draw attention to it. Instead, she quietly goes on with normal life. She is happy to be able to return Miles’ antagonism with kindness without anyone being the wiser, including Miles himself. This says something about Sue’s character and about the things she thinks are important. Keeping score is not one of them.
     One of the most powerful things about Sue’s character is her honesty. You can see how sensitive her conscience is when she struggles with reluctance to confront someone or admit something to them. She rejects the idea of cheating in a friendly but competitive football game by reading the lips in the enemy huddle to learn their game plan despite pressure from a teammate. She confronts dishonesty in others and expresses concern for the dishonest person as well as the deceived because she knows that in the long run the wrongdoer will be harmed as well. When it comes to inner battles over integrity, Sue’s conscience wins after only a short struggle, or else it wins instantly.
     One might not think that a show can be classified as family-friendly when there are episodes involving things like terrorist threats or serial killers. However, most episodes don’t involve this sort of thing, and even the scariest episodes have far more suspense than violence. While it is true that some episodes have themes of darker danger, there aren’t many, and they also provide a sense of realism because they display a variety of different kinds of FBI cases. There is also a total lack of graphic imagery: the acquirement of bandages and a black eye is about the highest level of injury to which any character ever ascends to. The producers seem to avoid gore almost as strenuously as they do the usage of strong language.
     For example, the very camera work has a way of capturing the action without focusing on or prolonging the violence. A chase scene at the beginning of the show took an unexpected twist and culminated in a man being hit by a car when he dashed out into a busy street. But the actual impact of the vehicle is not shown onscreen. Instead, a screeching of tires on pavement is heard, and the next moment viewers are presented with agents in front of a stopped car asking the gathering bystanders to move on. The victim is flat on his back and would have seemed to be merely unconscious if he had not been proclaimed dead. The entire scene is brief and the end is short and somber but not scary.  So, suspense is the key word when it comes to themes which might cause anxiety in younger viewers, not violence, and this element can be found just as easily in some cartoons. 
     This is the manner in which the overall show is presented. And for those who would rather avoid the worst of the conflict, there is also the option of skipping over the most intense episodes instead of completely rejecting all three seasons. Those who skip a few episodes needn’t be afraid of missing crucial information that will affect their understanding of the rest of the show. The storyline doesn’t carry from episode to episode, but instead each episode holds its own self-contained plot that is usually fully resolved instead of ending with a cliffhanger. One could even watch them somewhat out of order without confusion.
    Finally, this show delivers when it comes to providing a story with a point. This show has more depth of character and story than many newer and much more expensive productions. It is true that the show is older and may not appeal to people who like thrilling, fast-paced, or edgy plots, stunning camera quality, and cool effects. They might additionally judge Sue Thomas: F. B. EYE as corny or contrived. But big-budget films that seek to blow the audience away with breathtaking cinematography lack something that this show has:  purpose.
     Sue Thomas: F. B. EYE succeeds in delivering a tangible, meaningful message where other movies and television shows fail to convey anything like it at all. It gives a person something to take back to reality with them. Maybe part of this is because the show is actually based on something real. The character of the real Sue Thomas is carried over into the show, not just her fun nature but also her Christian faith and love of God. The “heroes” in so many stories don’t measure up to their own standard. The protagonist should be judged more by his heart motive and less by the amazing show that he puts on, but the audience is rarely presented a character who fits into anything but the second category. However, Sue presents the audience with lessons about selflessness, honesty, friendship, and more. She is more than a good character; her character is good.
     Sue Thomas: F.B.EYE is a wonderful show, and it deserves to be much more well-known than it is. It is like The Andy Griffith Show in that it is about law officers and the day-to-day amusement and difficulty that they bring into each other’s lives. And much like the old Griffith show it can be enjoyed by the whole family. Those who have little interest in checking this show out are missing more than they realize. It is definitely worth watching, and it is even more worth the investment of bringing all three seasons home. Even though it came off the air over a decade ago, it is still as good as it ever was. It might even be better.